Raga engages in conversation with the OCs of Sales & Marketing, Public Relations, and Computers, talking about SnM, ghosts, and survival.
Introduce yourself.
Tanay Sule (OC Sales & Marketing): Tanay, OC SnM. I’m the pioneer of the changed name, with a superb department and a 30 inch waist.
Shweta Radhakrishnan (OC Public Relations): Don’t lie. I know you have a 22 inch waist. Don’t use this interview as an excuse to get into the Taal. Oh, I’m Shweta, OC PR, and we have an event this year.
Conrad D’Sa (OC Computers): I’m Conrad, OC Comps. [To Cinatra, OG Raga:] Stop laughing!
Tell us a secret.
Tanay: [Unprintable.]
Shweta: I have no secrets. My life is an open book.
Conrad: I call my girlfriend ‘Buboo’ (Is extremely particular that we spell this correctly.)
If not Sales & Marketing/PR/Comps which department would you be in?
Tanay: Texxx. I like sound.
Shweta: Raga, because I’m Lit.
Conrad: [looks confused for a moment] Conclave. (What? Really?)
Do you know that people don’t like you?
Tanay: [bored] Yeah, man.
Shweta [worried]: What?! Someone doesn’t like me! Who doesn’t like me? [whines] I didn’t know about this. How can anyone not like me?
Conrad: Yes! Finally!
If you were on Survivor, who would you kill first?
Tanay: Sonia.
Raga: Which Sonia?
Tanay [thinks]: John.
Shweta: Ramrakhiani.
Conrad: I think Preksha. (Preksha is OC Conclave.)
Tanay: She said part of the OC, be serious.
Who would be the last one alive? Tanay: Me.
Shweta: Petal. No one would touch her.
Conrad: Andrew.
Tanay: Oh yeah, Andrew. No one would kill him; he’s so nice. I would kill myself before touching Andrew. [There is a shocked silence.]
Who is your Malhar crush?
Tanay [excited]: Okay, going alphabetically – Andrew, Neil, Petal, Sebastian, Sonia, Shruti... (we stopped writing at this point).
Shweta [thoughtfully]: Shruti Raghavendran and David.
Conrad: Petal, Leroy, Freyan, Karen, Shantal.
If Malhar were a car, which part would your department be?
Tanay: Accelerator.
Shweta: Oh! Oh! I know! We would be that thing on the back! [pauses] I know! We’d be the customised license plate.
Tanay [rolls eyes]: It’s called a vanity plate.
Conrad: Engine.
If you had one day in someone else’s shoes, whose would they be?
[after a significant pause]
Tanay: Sebastian. Have you seen his pecks, man?
Shweta: Shriya. She has nice hair.
Conrad: Tanay.
Who is Pankaj?
Tanay: Pankaj is a **** bought for Jharana (VCP M, Malhar 2008).
Shweta: Oh, I know! Pankaj is a computer in the Comps Room.
Conrad: It’s a computer. [mutters about Raga naming computers.]
If Malhar were a person, would you date him/her?
Tanay: Hell, yeah.
Shweta: Yeah, actually.
Conrad: What? No!
What is your Malhar fantasy?
[all eyes open wide at the thought. It takes a few minutes for some semblance of coherence to appear.]
Tanay: A pool of jam in the first quad.
Shweta: An article on the first page of Times of India. [drools at the idea.]
Conrad: [thinks] Oh my god. A 2GB hard disk. (huh? Only that much?)
What is your greatest asset?
Tanay: My left cheek. Oh, yes. My OGs too.
Shweta: My legs.
Conrad: Thighs. (eww)
Who is the Malhar ghost?
Tanay: Aiden, man. He’s been here forever.
Shweta: Garfield keychain.
Conrad: Raga. (Much appreciation)
What is your biggest Malhar nightmare?
Tanay: **** next year. That’s right!
Shweta: Nobody showing up for the press conference.
Conrad: My mom coming to know that I’m OC.
If you were alone in the Comps Room what would you do?
Tanay: [says something about Michael Jackson and cherubs. Cheers to him.]
Shweta: Sleep.
Conrad (ignoring our repeated reminders that we said ‘alone’): Open a huge club.
What colour is your aura?
Tanay: Green. It’s the colour of money.
Shweta: Bright yellow. I’m like the sun.
Conrad: Black. I don’t know why.
Word Association
S&M
Tanay: We finally did it.
Shweta: Tanay.
Conrad: I wish I could. (Erm)
Souvenirs
Tanay: Can’t design.
Shweta: Love them.
Conrad: Has nice features.
Conclave
Tanay: Why are they a department? There’s so much to say. Must. Make. Jokes.
Shweta: I love Conclave.
Conrad: Yeah. Pranks takes full credit for Conclave.
Logo
Tanay: Ah, the logo. [Retching noise]
Shweta: I like it.
Conrad: Oh, yes!
For the love of _____
Tanay: Mustard.
Shweta: PR [in a sing song voice].
Conrad: God.
______ those commies.
Tanay: It’s 3 o’ clock, I have to go.
Shweta: Love.
Conrad [thinks for a while]: Commies are fun.
