Naming an umbrella is an important step in its psychological growth. Misnomers can be disastrous, often leading to severe identity disorders. Raga advises you on things to keep in mind while naming your darling protector.
First you must determine the sex of your umbrella. Look at the handle. If it is curved, your umbrella is likely to be a female. If not, then you can safely say that it is a boy. To be on the safe side, engage it in a long conversation while walking in the rain and settle on its gender.
Attitude is important in deciding a name. Does your umbrella jam just when a sudden thundercloud bursts overhead? Does it fall apart at the slightest touch? Naming an umbrella Stubborn, when it is really an Accommodating at heart might scar it for life. Similarly, naming Diarrhea Jammed might lead to Diarrhea throwing more water tantrums.
Does umbrella mia believe in Marx or Smith? Observe it carefully. When it rains, it pours. When it pours, does your umbrella swing to the left or the right? Are your clothes moderately, liberally or conservatively wet? If you have an opinionated umbrella, this might be a wonderful opportunity for you to fully explore its political tendencies. Say hello to your new Stalin and Gandhi.
